Everyone either loves Secret Benefits or has never heard of it. After using it for most of last year I have some actual opinions.

Short version: it's the second-best sugar dating platform in the US and in some situations it beats Seeking. The credit system is annoying but it might also be why it works.

Here's everything I found.

What Secret Benefits actually is

Started in 2015. Calls itself a "sugar dating" platform, doesn't hide what it's for. SBs join free, SDs pay for a subscription plus credits to send messages. I'll explain that in a second because it's the part everyone asks about.

User base is around 4-5 million. Way smaller than Seeking's 20 million claimed users. But honestly those inflated numbers are both probably garbage - what matters is active users in your area, and for a lot of mid-size cities Secret Benefits is surprisingly decent.

The credit system - annoying but not as annoying as it sounds

Ok so here's the thing. SDs pay like $59/month for basic access, but to actually message someone they spend credits. I don't remember the exact rate but it's something like $2-3 per message-thread, and there's additional credits for viewing private photos.

When I first heard about this I thought it sounded scammy. And it does make the SDs' costs go up, some of them complain about it.

But here's what I noticed: because messaging costs money, guys are more selective about who they message. So the messages I actually received on Secret Benefits were noticeably more thoughtful than Seeking. Not 100% but like, 70% of my SB inbox was people who had clearly read my profile. On Seeking it felt more like mass messaging.

My unofficial test: sent 25 messages on each platform with a similar opener. Got 12 responses on Secret Benefits vs 7 on Seeking. I've had other people tell me similar things so it doesn't seem like just luck.

The income verification thing

SDs can optionally verify their income by submitting financial documents. They get a badge if they do. Most serious SDs do it because the badge makes sugar babies take them more seriously.

I actually care about this because the verified income badge is a decent signal. Not perfect - someone could verify with their dad's bank statement for all I know - but it adds a step that lazy scammers skip.

On Seeking there's income verification too but I feel like fewer SDs bother with it. SB is stricter about promoting it.

Active months on Secret Benefits vs what I found

First 2 months: Figuring out the platform. Response rates were better than expected. Profile views were lower than Seeking (smaller user base) but interactions felt more real. Started 1 arrangement around month 2 - $2,800/month guy in tech, lasted about 4 months before his job moved him to another city.

Months 3-5: Got more comfortable. Second arrangement started, more sporadic PPM thing, $400-450 per meet, twice a month roughly. Also started a casual thing that lasted 6 weeks.

Months 6-7: Mostly maintaining active arrangements, lighter activity on the platform itself.

So 2 real arrangements plus 1 shorter thing in 7 months. Better than my first few months on Seeking if I'm being honest.

Stuff that's actually worse than Seeking

The app is bad. Like noticeably bad. It crashes on me 2-3 times a week, notifications are delayed, and the UI looks like it was designed in 2017 and nobody touched it since. Seeking's app isn't great either but it's better than Secret Benefits'.

Smaller user base means in smaller cities you run out of people fast. I have a friend in Des Moines who said she saw the same 8 SDs for months. In Chicago it wasn't an issue but anything under a 500k metro, I'd check the user count before committing.

Some guys clearly run out of credits mid-conversation and then the conversation just... dies. It's weird and a little annoying. On Seeking once they're subscribed they can message infinitely so that doesn't happen.

Customer support is basically nonexistent. Had an issue with a suspicious profile once and submitted a report. Got an automated response. Never heard back. On Seeking I actually got a human response once.

Stuff that's better than Seeking

Response rates. I've said it twice but it's the main thing. If you're sending messages and getting ignored on Seeking, try SB. The credit system filters out people who aren't serious.

Quality of conversations. Guys on Secret Benefits generally want to discuss arrangements faster. Less of the prolonged chatting with no payoff.

Income verification is more prominent. The badge culture here actually works.

Less competition in some markets. Seeking is so saturated in big cities that competition is brutal. Secret Benefits is less crowded.

Things about the platform people don't mention enough

The profiles are actually quite good here. The design encourages you to fill in more fields and be specific. I noticed that on Secret Benefits both SBs and SDs had more complete profiles than Seeking on average.

Search filters work well. You can filter by verified income, location radius, age, all the normal stuff. Not revolutionary but it works reliably.

The site version (desktop) is actually pretty good. Use that instead of the app if you can.

Who actually uses Secret Benefits

From my experience in Chicago:

SD ages skewed a bit older than Seeking. Like 45-58 vs 38-50 on Seeking. Just my observation, not data.

More finance/professional types. Less entertainment industry (that crowd seems to prefer Seeking). More law, real estate, corporate executives.

International SDs were less common than Seeking. The platform is less international.

Would I recommend it?

Yes, with context.

If you're in a major US city: use it alongside Seeking. Both are free for SBs so there's no reason not to have both accounts.

If you're in a mid-size city: check if there are actual users near you first before investing time.

If you're in a small city: Seeking is probably better just for user numbers.

If you want better response rates and are tired of the Seeking noise: Secret Benefits is genuinely worth trying.

If the SD you're talking to suddenly goes quiet: probably ran out of credits. You can message them for free as an SB.

Numbers if you care

From my 7 months:

  • Total messages received: 198
  • Messages worth responding to: ~90
  • Met in person: 11
  • Arrangements started: 2 regular + 1 sporadic
  • Total arrangements value: roughly $25k over the period

Compare that to my first 7 months on Seeking where I had more messages but fewer actual arrangements. Make of that what you will.

Anyway that's my honest take. The platform isn't perfect but it's real, the users are real, and I got real results. Can't ask for much more than that.

If you've had different experiences I'd actually be curious to hear because the credit system is weird and I wonder if it works better for some users than others.