Yes, this is a scam: anyone who says you must pay a fee, buy gift cards, or "verify" with your own money before he can send your allowance is running an advance-fee scam, and the allowance will never arrive.

Money in a real arrangement flows one way. The moment a "sugar daddy" needs you to pay first, whether he calls it a transfer fee, an insurance charge, a verification step, a tax, or "proof you're not a scammer", the direction has flipped and so has the relationship.

The short answer

Do not pay. The US Federal Trade Commission is blunt about gift cards: "Only scammers will tell you to buy a gift card, like a Google Play or Apple Card, and give them the numbers off the back of the card." (FTC) The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) defines advance fee fraud as when "an individual pays money to someone in anticipation of receiving something of greater value in return but instead receives significantly less than expected or nothing." In 2025 the IC3 logged 7,762 advance fee complaints with reported losses of $155,910,852. (IC3 2025 report)

How the scam works

The Better Business Bureau described the sugar version of this scam in a January 2025 alert: a stranger offers to be your "sugar daddy" or "sugar momma", promises a weekly allowance, and then asks you to do something with money first, such as buy gift cards or send cash on. The BBB adds that some victims are asked to pay "transaction or processing fees", sometimes in Bitcoin. (BBB) A typical sequence:

  1. The promise. A generous allowance, often a specific weekly figure, offered quickly and with little interest in meeting.
  2. The obstacle. He says the money is "ready" but stuck: his bank needs a clearance fee, the payment app needs you to upgrade your account, his accountant needs a small payment to "release" it, or you must prove you are "serious".
  3. The ask. You are told to send a small amount through a payment app, buy gift cards and send photos of the codes, or pay in crypto. The FTC lists gift card PINs, money transfer apps, wire transfers and cryptocurrency among the payment methods romance scammers ask for. (FTC)
  4. The escalation. After the first payment there is always another fee. The allowance never arrives, or a fake "payment confirmation" screenshot appears to keep you paying.

Sometimes the fee request comes after a fake deposit, which combines this scam with the fake check script described in a sugar daddy sent me a check and asked for some back.

Red flags

  • Any request for you to pay before you are paid, whatever it is called.
  • Gift cards (Apple, Google Play, Amazon, Steam or any other) or photos of card codes.
  • Crypto or a payment app you have never used before.
  • Emails or texts "from" a bank or payment app saying your funds are pending until you pay a fee. Check by logging in to the real app yourself, never through the link.
  • Urgency and secrecy: pay today, don't tell anyone, your allowance expires.
  • He won't video-call or keeps cancelling. Use our guide on how to verify a sugar daddy is real.
  • Rule-breaking on the platform: Seeking's community guidelines bar "solicitation of, other members to send money", and its safety page tells members to "never send money to someone they meet on our platforms." (Seeking)

What to do now

  1. Stop and do not send anything more, even to "get back" what you already paid. Paying more never releases the promised allowance.
  2. If you bought gift cards, contact the gift card company immediately using the number on the back of the card or its official website. Keep the card and the store receipt; the FTC says this helps with any claim. (FTC)
  3. If you paid by bank transfer, card or payment app, contact your bank or the app straight away, say you were defrauded, and ask if the payment can be stopped or reversed. (FTC)
  4. Report it. US: ReportFraud.ftc.gov and the FBI at ic3.gov. England, Wales and Northern Ireland: Report Fraud (formerly Action Fraud) at reportfraud.police.uk or 0300 123 2040. Scotland: Police Scotland on 101.
  5. Report the profile on the site or app where you met him, so moderators can remove it before it reaches someone else.
  6. Save the evidence: chats, profile screenshots, card codes, receipts and payment confirmations.
  7. Check his other accounts. If he moved you to X (Twitter), paste the profile into our Account Radar to see whether it is in the SDI database before trusting anything it says.
  8. Watch for a follow-up "recovery" offer. People who have lost money are often contacted by someone promising to get it back for a fee. That is the same scam again.

Losing money this way is not a sign of naivety; the script is designed to feel reasonable one small step at a time.

FAQ

He says the fee is only $50 and he'll refund it with my first allowance. Is that different?

No. The size of the fee does not matter. Advance-fee scams usually start small and grow, and the refund is part of the story.

He asked me to "verify" I'm real by sending money or a gift card. Is that normal?

No. Verification on dating platforms is done with photos, video calls or the platform's own tools, not with your money. A request to prove yourself with a payment is the scam.

Can I get money back from gift cards?

Sometimes, if you act fast. Contact the card issuer immediately with the card and receipt, then report to the FTC. Once the codes have been used, recovery is much harder.

Is it a scam if a "payment app" email says I need to pay to receive his money?

Treat it as one. That email is almost always sent by the scammer to look official. Log in to the app directly, not through any link, and check whether a payment exists. For more patterns, see our sugar dating scams guide and how to spot a fake sugar daddy.

Sources

Sources checked October 6, 2026.